The Academy Page 18

  Thankfully, Nick saved the day. “So, Sebastian, you said you had a busy week. Wanna talk about it?”

  There were a lot of things Sebastian wanted to talk about, but schoolwork was not one of them. Although with Dante there, he couldn’t very well bring up the texts. Especially not while he was sitting next to Nick, appearing to lean closer to him with every passing second. Was that Sebastian’s imagination?

  Is Dante finally making his move? Trying to win the bet? If so, why would he invite me over?

  As Sebastian speculated, Dante’s arm shifted to Nick’s shoulders. It wouldn’t take much for Dante to put it around Nick and pull him closer. Sebastian’s eye twitched.

  “I had a big paper to write.” Sebastian was shocked by how level his voice sounded. “Ten pages for my art class. You’d think we’d actually paint, but it’s mostly a lot of analyzing old dead guys and discussing the theory of paint. My professor’s more of a Mr. Nolan than a John Keating.”

  Nick scrunched his nose. “Huh?”

  Dante brushed a finger against his shoulder, purportedly to get his attention. “Dead Poets Society.”

  “Oh.” Nick went red in the face, and there was no telling if it was from embarrassment, the touch, or the fact that Dante was definitely getting closer to him.

  Is he trying to make me jealous? Or is he shoving the fact that he’s on a date with Nick in my face? Either way, he must know he’s pissing me off.

  Then, Dante looked over at him and flashed a bright, knowing smile.

  Sebastian’s temper boiled over like a pot. He tried to slam a lid onto it, but it was too late. Before he could stop himself, he jumped to his feet. “Nick, can I talk to you? Outside?”

  “We’re kinda in the middle of something here, Seb,” Dante said.

  But Sebastian was already heading for the door. He yanked it open, stormed out, and headed for the wrought-iron gate that led out of the apartment complex. He didn’t stop until he was standing by the street where he’d parked his car. He braced himself against it with one hand and rubbed his eyes with the other.

  Nice move, Prinsen. Way to play it cool.

  “Sebastian?”

  Sebastian whirled around. Nick was standing a few feet away, blinking at him like Sebastian was a firework that might go off at any moment.

  “Hey.” Sebastian cleared his throat. “Sorry about that. I was feeling a little claustrophobic all of a sudden.”

  Nick looked at him askance. “Really? Because I thought Dante drooling all over me might’ve had something to do with it.”

  Goddamn it. How does he read me so easily?

  Sebastian stared at his sneakers. “I was surprised, is all. I didn’t know you two were a thing.” He peeked up.

  Nick’s cheeks were pink. “We’re not. I mean, not officially or anything. He really did invite me over to study. But I guess he had other things on his mind.”

  “Not officially.” What the hell does that mean?

  Words bubbled up in the back of Sebastian’s throat and burst out of his mouth. “DoyoulikeDante?”

  Nick startled and took a step toward him. “What?”

  Sebastian forced himself to enunciate. “Do you like Dante? It’s okay if you do.” That’s a big lie. “I just want to know so I can stop wasting my time.”

  “Wasting your time?” The surprise fell off Nick’s face and was replaced with anger. He took another step toward Sebastian, hands on his hips. “You want to talk about wasting time? You wasted a whole week of my life.”

  “What?” Sebastian pushed away from his car. “How do you figure?”

  “You dropped all those emotional texts on me, and then you disappeared. You never called. You never wrote back. Nothing.”

  “I . . . needed time to think.”

  “Five days’ worth of time? What were you thinking about? Why Captain Barbossa died from that gunshot wound before the curse was lifted, but Jack didn’t die from being stabbed?”

  “No.” Sebastian blinked. “Although, now that you mention it, that was a pretty glaring plot hole.”

  Nick turned away. “I don’t have time for this bullshit.”

  Sebastian watched him go for all of three steps before he called after him. “I was thinking about you.”

  Nick stopped short, arms limp at his sides. When he turned back around, his eyes were wary. “What?”

  “I was thinking about you.” It occurred to Sebastian that at some point, they’d both moved onto the sidewalk. From feet apart, the tension between them was palpable.

  A cool breeze ruffled Sebastian’s hair, reminding him that the sun would set soon, and he had a party to get to. And yet nothing in the world could have moved him from this spot.

  Finally, Nick sighed. “Sebastian, why didn’t you text me back? Tell me the truth.”

  Lying wasn’t an option even without the imperative. “I was afraid of what you’d say when we talked. Afraid I’d ruined this from the start. I was embarrassed, and I told you things I’ve never said to a guy before. I thought you were going to tell me to leave you alone once and for all. But most of all, I think I was scared that you weren’t.”

  When he’d finished, he dropped his gaze to the grass growing by the sidewalk. His whole body was tense as a piano string.

  Something warm touched his chin; he startled and jerked his head up. Nick had reached out, and with gentle fingers, he tilted Sebastian’s face back up until their eyes met.

  “I wasn’t going to tell you to leave me alone.” He was standing so close now, Sebastian could see rings of brown around his pupils, like rocks cropping up out of the ocean. “You didn’t ruin this. Granted, I don’t know what this is, but those texts did way more help than harm. They made me think of you in a whole new way.”

  Sebastian’s heart pounded like it was trying to burst out of his chest. The feel of Nick’s fingers sent warmth coursing through him. “If you had to guess, what would you call this? Attraction? Something more?”

  Nick blushed tellingly and dropped his hand. “I said I’m not sure.”

  “Bullshit.” Sebastian stepped closer, which was starting to become impossible. The air between them was magnetized. “Say it. I need to hear it.”

  Nick wet his lips, and it took everything Sebastian had not to look down at them. “Why don’t you tell me?”

  “Nick.” Sebastian gave in and stared at Nick’s mouth. “Kiss me.”

  “Whoa, what?” Nick took a half step back.

  Sebastian caught him by the arms. “Don’t run away from me. Please.”

  Nick’s eyes flashed. “Hey, you’re one to talk about running away. You—”

  “Nick.”

  Miraculously, Nick fell silent. He was breathing hard on top of being flushed, and the effect made Sebastian dizzy just looking at him. Somewhere in his head, he knew this was his chance to win the bet, but he also understood, somehow, that it was more than that.

  “If you don’t want me, fine.” Sebastian’s voice was steady despite the tremulous emotions within him. “You can tell me.”

  Nick opened his mouth, and for a second, Sebastian’s heart stopped cold. But then Nick’s beautiful eyes dropped to Sebastian’s lips.

  Sebastian smiled. “Can’t do it, can you? Kiss me. It has to be you.”

  “I . . . I . . .” Nick hesitated. Sebastian could see genuine desire on his face, deep and hungry, and it made the air between them crackle. So why was Nick holding back?

  Sebastian had no idea, and all of a sudden, he didn’t care. He couldn’t wait any longer. “Fuck it.”

  Pulling Nick against him, Sebastian swept him into a kiss that was—all at once—desperate, sweet, and the most brutal thing he’d ever done to himself.

  Nick wasn’t ashamed to admit he’d imagined what it would be like to kiss Sebastian. Ever since that first day, when Sebastian had touched his face and brushed a thumb over his lips, Nick had wondered about it. In his head, Sebastian was an aggressive kisser who would leave Nick breathless and kiss
-bruised afterward.

  The reality was nothing like the fantasy, in the best way.

  Sebastian’s mouth was soft. Velvet soft. Warmer than Nick had thought it’d be, and firm without being forceful. The arms that slid around Nick’s waist and back held him close but didn’t cage him. Nick could break away if he wanted to. But that was the strange thing.

  He didn’t.

  Nick deepened the kiss without questioning it, tilting his head to fit their mouths perfectly together. Sebastian made a small noise, and it zipped down Nick’s spine before pooling in his belly. Teeth nipped at his lower lip, and at the first hot swipe of Sebastian’s tongue, Nick thought his knees were going to buckle.

  Suddenly, they were moving. Sebastian backed them up until Nick feared they were going to stumble into the street. But then his back hit something big and convex. A car?

  There was no time to wonder. Sebastian kissed him up against it with intent. Nick melted into it, grabbing a handful of Sebastian’s shirt. For someone so slender, Sebastian was surprisingly strong. Nick could feel the wiry power in his body as he used it to pin Nick in place, back curved along cool metal and glass. And all the while, Sebastian kissed him with the single-minded determination of a man who was precisely where he wanted to be.

  No matter how much Nick wanted to deny it, being with Sebastian felt right. And not just because Sebastian was a damn good kisser. His body fit up against Nick’s like it was meant to, and he used the perfect combination of lips and tongue. And there was something else, something Nick couldn’t put a name to, but he felt it. Inside of him, it clicked into place.

  It was a good feeling, but it also sent panic rippling through him. He was starting to understand what Sebastian had meant all the times he’d said this was terrifying. One second, Nick was demanding straight answers. The next, he was letting Sebastian kiss him into submission. It was scary how easily his attraction to Sebastian had pushed his valid concerns from his mind.

  Stop this. Before it goes any further.

  Nick took the hand he’d fisted in Sebastian’s shirt, moved it so his palm was flat against Sebastian’s chest, and pushed. Sebastian stumbled back, almost tripping, but he caught himself at the last second. He looked up at Nick, panting for breath. His lips were wine-red. “What was that for?”

  Nick didn’t answer. He was struggling to catch his breath as well. Even as he was glad Sebastian was off him, he mourned the loss of his warmth, the comfort it gave him. Nick debated turning around and walking away, but Sebastian would follow.

  As if on cue, Sebastian took a step toward him, his eyes full of purpose.

  Nick held up a finger. “Don’t kiss me again. I mean it.”

  “Why not? What’s wrong?”

  “This is wrong. I can’t handle all these games.”

  Sebastian furrowed his brow. “What games? I told you the truth.”

  “Yeah, this time. What about before? The last time you were honest with me was a week ago, after which you shut me out. Then you asked me if I was attracted to one of your best friends, and now you’re kissing me. How is anyone supposed to make sense of this?”

  Sebastian opened his mouth, but then to Nick’s surprise, he sagged like a sack of flour with a leak. “You’re right.”

  Nick blinked. “Come again?”

  “You’re right. I fucked up. I’m fucked up.” Sebastian rubbed his eyes with a hand and then kept it there when he was done, shielding his face. “I’m sorry.”

  Nick was at a loss. He pushed away from the car and hesitated, unsure if he should put a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, or if he even wanted to. “Do you . . . want to talk about it?”

  “No. Yes?” Sebastian wiped his mouth and dropped his hand. His eyes were uncertain as they met Nick’s. “Not right now.”

  “Then I’m sorry, but I’m leaving. I’ve had my fill of roundabout answers.”

  Sebastian caught his arm again. “Please don’t go. I’m trying, okay? This isn’t easy for me.”

  Nick looked from Sebastian’s face to the hand on his arm. “You better say something convincing soon, or I’m out of here, and you won’t chase after me.”

  Sebastian released him. “Listen, I haven’t been talking to anyone about the shit that’s going on in my life. Not even Theo and Dante. I’m not going to tell you—a relative stranger whom I’ve known for two weeks—things I haven’t told them.”

  Nick narrowed his eyes. “Wow, you’re terrible at this.” Though the bit about his life was intriguing. Dr. O’Connor had said he had things going on.

  “But”—Sebastian made the B sound pop before ticking the T—“I admit I owe you an explanation. So, here it is. My personal life is hell at the moment, and I’m not handling it well. When I sent you all those texts, I meant them. I meant every word. When I thought you were going to reject me, I freaked. I thought if one more thing got added to the pile of flaming crap that is my life, I was going to lose it. I avoided you as a result, and I’m sorry.”

  Nick pursed his lips. “Okay. I suppose I can live with that answer. I wish you’d tell me at least a little of what’s going on with you, though. An abridged version will do.”

  Sebastian’s face contorted, but he nodded. “My parents are getting divorced.”

  Nick waited for more, but Sebastian didn’t continue. “Um. I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “Don’t say it.” Sebastian held up a hand. “If one more person says it, I’m going to scream.”

  “Says what?”

  “‘So? Get over it.’”

  Nick shook his head. “I would never have said that.”

  “Maybe not those exact words, but you were thinking a version of that, right?”

  Nick started to lie, but it fell flat on his tongue.

  “I know.” Sebastian huffed. “I know what you’re thinking. People’s parents get divorced all the time. It’s ubiquitous these days. And it’s not like I’m a little kid who’s being forced to move and switch schools and leave all his friends behind. My parents weren’t happy, either. They should have gotten divorced a long time ago. Why am I upset then?”

  It was a rhetorical question; Nick kept quiet, waiting to see if Sebastian would answer it.

  Sebastian did. “I’m upset because I thought I was safe. I thought I’d made it to the age where things like this couldn’t affect me anymore. But my dad called me at the beginning of the semester and said they’re selling our house. I have to pack up all my shit—everything I didn’t take to college with me—and put it in storage somewhere. Or I can throw it all away. Family photos, childhood toys, my art trophies. Everything I’ve ever known and loved. Those were the options they gave me.”

  Nick piped up. “Your parents don’t want any of it?”

  “Nope. They’re both moving on with their lives. I swear I’m happy for them, but I’m also terrified. They had me young. There’s still time for them to have more children, or adopt. Start new families. When the fighting got bad in high school, they’d both spend days away, and it was like they forgot about me. Now that I’m a legal adult, they’re not obligated to care about me anymore. If they ever did!”

  Sebastian’s voice had been getting steadily louder as he talked, and by the end of his speech, he was yelling. Nick let him, comfortable in the knowledge that Sebastian wasn’t shouting at him. He was shouting at his parents, or the universe, or maybe himself.

  When he’d finished, he was panting worse than when they’d stopped kissing. He wiped his mouth again and moved a few steps over until he could slump against the car.

  “I didn’t mean to say all of that.” He sounded dazed. His eyes were glassy as he stared up at the sky, long neck craned back.

  Nick was surprised to discover his heart was pounding. The emotion behind Sebastian’s words was contagious, and the rawness of it was palpable. He was like an exposed nerve that had been prodded at for too long, until the pain had built to unbearable levels.

  Nick’s feet moved of their own accord, bringing him
closer to Sebastian. “I’m sorry.”

  Sebastian waved him off without looking at him. “Don’t be.”

  “I mean it. Just because divorce is common doesn’t mean it’s a picnic. Have people really been telling you to get over it?”

  Sebastian nodded. “Oh yeah. My family’s a big deal in this town, and Evanston has its own rumor mill. The other day some guy my dad works with walked up to me in the grocery store and told me to ‘chin up.’ Then he called me ‘slugger.’ I’ve never come so close to punching someone. No one gets why I care. My parents are still paying for my college after all, so why should it matter to me if they’re not together anymore?”

  “That’s awful, and so not the point.”

  “Exactly. ‘You’re an adult.’ I get told that every time I bring it up. They’re right, but I wasn’t ready for such a big change. I feel like one of the toys I have to deal with. My parents have outgrown me, so they’re packing me up and getting rid of me. It’s like I’ve been holding them back all these years, and now that I’m legal, they’re free.”

  “Have they actually said any of this to you? Because if so, fuck them.”

  “No, I could be worrying over nothing, and I recognize that. But what they have told me doesn’t bode well. They’re both moving away. They’re both seeing other people. They want me to plan to stay in my apartment over the summer instead of subletting it like I usually do. They’re not sentimental people. I don’t know how they ended up with a son as emotional as me.” Sebastian sighed. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. It’s depressing.”

  “Not talking about it is what got you into this mess. Keeping things bottled up isn’t healthy. Trust me. I know.”

  Sebastian studied his face from feet away, eyes bright like pavement slick with rain. “Come to my party.”

  Nick startled. “What?”

  “My party.”

  “Uh, your party was last weekend. I missed it. That is, unless you’ve got a time machine, in which case, you should have led with that.”